London Free Press - Bill Brady - E-mails can be treasures, AAMOF

London Free Press - Bill Brady - E-mails can be treasures, AAMOF

In the five days since the big ball fell, I have received a score of e-mails, some of which I was happy to get, others . . . well, let's face it, most of these cyber messages are irrelevant, silly or downright inappropriate.

I ask rhetorically, how did we communicate before this often-intrusive device was available? We wrote letters.

Some time ago when I had a job, I dictated them. Then when that changed I typed my own and learned to rely on spell check -- so much so that now I am an abysmal speller.

E-mail has made many of us slaves to the Internet. AOL and Mr. Rogers thrive as we send and receive. I check my incoming far too often only to be sorry I did if the content is unimportant or, worse, unfriendly.

The Free Press puts my e-mail address at the end of this column and that is done so readers can respond. I like the ones that begin, "Thank you for writing about . . ." or "I loved this morning's column, so insightful (funny, droll, timely), I think you should be in the paper every day." I made that last one up in case Paul Berton reads my stuff occasionally.

Conversely I am brought back to earth by, "Your column in today's Free Press was both inaccurate and badly . . ." Then the UWO English department wades in to articulately scold me for grammar gaffes. They get testy about both punctuation and prepositions.

Then there are the personal e-mails that I treasure. My extraordinary 22-year-old grandson Matt, bright and articulate, e-mails me often, but has the gift of terseness. A recent response to a question I asked was the epitome of brevity. He replied, "Yes."

His younger brother Mark, who sends the occasional message in lower case and filled with code for me to decipher, allows that I am "pretty good at this stuff for an older guy." I now know that BTW translates to "by the way" and ROFL means "rolling on the floor laughing." Just when I think I have it figured out, he hits me with AAMOF -- "as a matter of fact."

I am delighted when my longtime friend Peter John Garland e-mails. He was as witty as ever when the other day, he reported on a conversation with a former colleague.

"I met Jim Knowles at Sobey's (in the produce dept. -- onion area) and he informed me of your imminent departure to Florida. We agreed that life was like an onion, many layers and once peeled away you just have: a messy counter top unless you are making a nice soup with some sherry and melted Swiss and Parmesan atop the round of bread.

"He has a short attention span like me. I hope I-75 was kind to you and remembered to ask for apple juice at the 'Welcome to Florida' place and freak out the elderly volunteer.

"Here's also hoping you had a nice Christmas filled with all the (quoting saccharine cards now, mostly) 'bright and joyous seasonal holiday warmth of dear family, cherished friends' and blah, blah, blah. . . ."

Dr. Andy Kertesz saved the postage and relieved us of reading a long Christmas letter with this year-end e-mail: "Dear Friends, For those of you who like annual reports you might reply in kind, for those who do not, send this to cybergarbage."

My friend Ian Brooks, a former Londoner now living in Auckland, New Zealand, is a writer of great e-mails and we like to hear about his remarkable dad Fred, who is also from London and now retired in Australia: "We had a great time having him with us (at Christmas) . . . he really is amazing for someone who is nearly 93."

Then wonderful news from Joe Rapai who a few weeks ago received a live-saving liver transplant: "I have attached a recent picture so that you can visualize the great work of Dr. Bill Wall's team. Of course he had reasonably good subject matter to work with."

HNYTFRMS -- I'm sure you've figured that out but just in case, "Happy New Year and thanks for reading my stuff."
Bill Brady is secretary of the Blackburn Group Inc. His column appears Thursdays.